Shona Manderson believes that everything happens for a reason – but by now, you probably already know that.
The performing arts teacher, who starred in Married at First Sight UK, thought the stars had aligned when she was paired up with Brad Skelly, a model who was also open about his spirituality. “I was just like, 'Whoa',” says Shona of their first meeting at the altar. “The tattoos, the tan, he's so tall, he's so handsome, he is a beautiful, very attractive man […] And then when he smiled at me with these perfect veneers…”
She applied for MAFS after going through a breakup and swearing off Hinge. It's fair to say she threw herself into the process: “I just envisioned this most beautiful journey. I romanticised it so much. I got myself an engagement ring. I had a little hen party with my friends at home.”
And of their instant, palpable chemistry? She thought, “Oh my God, this is so meant to be...” But when the universe started sending red flags about Brad's behaviour – which she later describes as “love-bombing” – Shona began to doubt her grip on reality.
Throughout the show – which is edited – there were instances of Brad's behaviour towards Shona that made viewers seriously uncomfortable. Indeed, the charity Women's Aid released a statement calling out Brad's use of controlling language – “Not that I’m in a position of authority or to teach her, but if I allow her to get angry, is she ever going to learn?” – towards Shona, noting, “TV programmes like these, which are based on the formation of relationships, need to be aware of the dynamics of controlling and coercive behaviour, and always send a clear message that it is wholly unacceptable.”
Despite feeling hurt by Brad's words, Shona's natural instinct was to defend him. “I was so in denial about it because I was so worried about how he was going to come across,” she explains, adding, "When we got sent home, I sat there and I said, 'He's not controlling, he's not, he's not.' […] I cried my eyes out because I didn't want him to be seen that way."
Brad denies being controlling towards Shona. In a TikTok, he said, "You are all watching a television programme and absolutely everything that I am projecting is from a position of trying to help, rather than to control or dictate, due to being in certain televised experiences before.
“I’ve never had the need or desire to control anybody in my entire life. And I have never once told anybody that they was never allowed to do anything at all, and anybody that knows me personally knows that they have always been completely open to do as they please."
While her short-lived marriage was not on her vision board for the process, Shona is still glad that she met Brad. “If I'd been with someone with Thomas [Kriaras] or Paul [Liba], we would've probably just had a good time and had more friend vibes. And then, maybe further down the line, I might've met someone like Bradley and ended up staying in that position for a bit longer.”
Instead, being partnered with Brad propelled her on the “best journey” of her life. “I feel so empowered,” she tells GLAMOUR. “And I am truly grateful for him because he didn't break me. He didn't. He taught me some lessons. He really, really hurt me, but he didn't break me.”
After she left the show, Shona flew to Sri Lanka to complete her yoga teacher training. During their time apart, Shona reports that Brad called her and said, 'The way I feel about you, Shona, is so mad, but I don't love you, I just lust you. I think I said it too soon. But I really, really want to make this work, and I don't want to break up.'
“That woke me up,” she explains. “I was holding on so much and blindsided because all his shitty behaviour was always followed by ‘I love you’. Everything. Like buying me cards, writing me letters, and buying me flowers. It was always shit stuff followed by this big gesture of love.”
When she boarded the plane to Sri Lanka, she says that Brad sent her a message which read: 'I'm sorry, I just never had any emotional attachment to you whatsoever.'
“How can you go through something so big with someone and know that you never, ever, ever had any feelings for them at all?” she asks.
After her MAFS journey came to an abrupt end, Shona worried about her reputation. “I was like, 'Shit, I'm a teacher. And I've just gone on telly so optimistic, fallen in love really, really fast, and then been sent home from a TV show for this guy's behaviour and I haven't handled it well.'”
“I beat myself up so hard because I thought I wasn't being a good role model for the teenagers I teach. And I cried, and cried.”
But on reflection, she's glad the relationship fell apart the way it did. “Bradley and I's relationship showed the classic steps of love bombing and how quickly something can just go so wrong. And I feel like our story hasn't really been shown like that on telly before.”
She continues, "As painful as it was at the time for me, I'm in such a good position now that I just want it to be just educational for people. And for people to be sitting there and thinking, "Oh my God, I am in a relationship like that, and it's not healthy, and it's not okay." And then to perhaps look into me and see where I'm at and that you can walk away."
As for Brad? She bumped into him a the MAFS reunion, where she says he tried to make amends – of sorts. "And I was like, 'Urgh. I don't believe you at all. But anyway, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter what you're saying to me because it doesn't affect me anymore.'
"I'm so far removed. I'm in my divine again. I feel empowered.”
Married At First Sight concludes tonight at 9 pm on E4.
For more information about emotional abuse and domestic abuse, you can call The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7qLjApqauqp2WtKLGyKecZ5ufY8Kse8Crq6KbnJp8tLTOp5hmpZGjsaa%2B0qilZqWRp7%2BqscNmmK1llp6%2FtMCMrKCgoKRitq%2FAxKutop2n